i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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