I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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