i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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