a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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