We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize