I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
