She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
