She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
