...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize