I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
