He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
