...so i touched it.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
