We won't sleep together?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
