Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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