foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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