Welp...herpes.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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