So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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