Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
