He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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