She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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