Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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