Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
