I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
