big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
