Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
