Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize