i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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