How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
