I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
