cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
