ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
