honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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