I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
