I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
