Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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