Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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