His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize