we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
