so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
