dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Why are your pants in the freezer?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
