Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize