he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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