Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
