Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Operation Purity has been aborted
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
