Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
