a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Randomize
