Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
My pussy is not your playground.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
