That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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