Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize