I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize