I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
