Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
