she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
