I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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