so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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