Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
