Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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