Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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