I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
sarcasm needs its own font
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
