Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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