Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
My life is pants optional.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
