Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
