I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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