I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
