I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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