How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize