he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
