Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize